HOW TO FIND A GREAT MATE
Below is a list of traits people may look for
in a marriage partner. Put a check beside the 10 you think are most important.
Then see below for scoring. “I am looking for someone who…”
__1. Is good looking
__2. Listens
__3. Does what he/she says they will.
__4. Likes to do most of the things I like to
do.
__5. Can speak up for him/herself
__6. Has a great sense of humor
__7. Is kind
__8. Averages no more than one drink a day and
no illegal drugs
__9. Is fun.
__10 Knows what they want
__11. Is loyal
__12. Has the same values as me
__13. Is well-dressed
__14. Can admit they are wrong
__15. Cares about my needs and wants
__16. Has lots of money
__17. Is willing to compromise
__18. Can control their anger/temper
SCORING:
Give yourself 1 pt for each of these:1, 4, 6,
9, 10, 13, 16
Give yourself 10 for each of these: 2, 3, 5, 7,
8, 11, 12, 14, 15, 17, 18.
If your score is: 90-100 Great!! 80-90 Good
70-80 On the right track but pay more attention to the “10s” Below 70 It might
be a good idea to learn more about healthy relationships
EXPLANATION: Research shows that the items
worth 10 points are the most urgent* in maintaining a healthy, lasting
relationship/marriage. Be sure your date exhibits these traits:
Evident Respect, Fondness and Friendship A
Strong Connection to You as a Couple Good Communication --which is significantly
more positive than negative A Shared Approach to Resolving Conflicts Clear,
Long-Term, Commitment to you and the Relationship Similar Values and Goals Plus
freedom from addictions
Those worth 1 point are nice to have but
actually have not been shown to be that important in the long run.
HOW TO FIND A GOOD MATE: Go back and test
yourself on these characteristics and work on any traits lacking in yourself.
Then you will attract the right people and you will recognize a good date when
you see one!
*Based on “Best Practices” as
determined by Syracuse University’s review of the literature as part of an ACF/HHS
federal Healthy Marriage Initiative grant.
